Self-Esteem Therapy in Washington, DC

Psychoanalytic therapy treats low self-esteem by examining where the verdict came from, rather than arguing against it. I am a licensed clinical psychologist and board-certified psychoanalyst in Washington, DC, and I have worked with self-image difficulties for over fifty years. Sessions are held online by secure video.

Self-esteem problems are quiet. They rarely arrive as the presenting complaint; they arrive underneath one — the promotion not applied for, the relationship settled for, the compliment that cannot be taken in, the achievement that counts for nothing the following morning.

The striking thing is how little the verdict responds to evidence. People with considerable accomplishments describe themselves as frauds and mean it. That gap between what is true and what is felt to be true is the actual subject of the work.

I see self-esteem difficulties in weekly psychotherapy and in psychoanalysis, with patients from adolescence through old age.

“The evidence has been in for years. The verdict has not moved.”

How low self-esteem shows up

A running internal commentary that is never satisfied
Praise that slides off, criticism that sticks
Feeling like a fraud despite real accomplishment
Difficulty asking for what you need or want
Comparing yourself unfavourably, constantly
Settling — in work, in relationships, in what you allow yourself
Perfectionism, and the exhaustion that comes with it

The problem

When you know it is not true and believe it anyway

Almost everyone with low self-esteem can construct the counter-argument themselves. They know what they have done. They can list the evidence. And the moment the listing stops, the verdict resumes, unchanged — which tells you that it was never built out of evidence in the first place.

Self-esteem is formed early, in relationships, well before there is any capacity to evaluate the terms. A child who is loved conditionally does not conclude that the condition is unreasonable; a child concludes that they are the sort of person who has to earn it. That conclusion then becomes the lens rather than an item viewed through it, which is precisely why it is so hard to see and so resistant to correction.

Affirmations and self-help work on the sentence. The difficulty is in the lens. This is also why success does not fix it: the standard simply relocates, and the new achievement is discounted as quickly as the last one.

The method

How psychoanalytic therapy treats self-esteem problems

We go after the origin of the verdict rather than its current wording. You talk freely; I listen for whose voice the criticism is in, what it is protecting you from, and what it costs. Over regular sessions this becomes concrete — the standard turns out to belong to someone specific, and to a moment, and to a bargain that made sense at the time.

The transference does unusual work here. Sooner or later you will expect me to find you disappointing, and something will happen in the room that looks like confirmation. Examining that as it occurs, live, does more than years of reasoning about childhood, because it is the first time the pattern has been caught in the act rather than described afterwards.

The aim is not a higher opinion of yourself but a more accurate one — which in practice is both more durable and easier to live with. This is the same method used in psychoanalysis, applied at whatever frequency the difficulty needs; most people begin with weekly psychotherapy.

Which treatment fits

Which treatment fits self-esteem work

Self-esteem difficulties are usually long-standing, which affects the choice of intensity. We decide together in the free consultation.

Psychoanalytic psychotherapy

Once or twice a week at a fixed time. Where most people begin, and enough for a great many difficulties.

Psychoanalysis

Three to five sessions a week. The more thorough instrument, for difficulties that have returned after previous treatment.

Couples therapy

Ninety minutes with both people present, when the trouble lives between you rather than inside one of you.

Expected results

What this work can and cannot promise

No honest clinician can put a date on this. What I can describe is what tends to change, and roughly in what order.

The critic gets a name

The voice stops sounding like the truth and starts sounding like someone in particular.

Praise becomes receivable

Good evidence stops being automatically discounted, which is often the first visible change.

You ask for more

In work and in relationships, what you permit yourself to want begins to widen.

A steadier baseline

Self-regard stops swinging on the last piece of feedback you received.

An honest caveat: this is slow work. Self-esteem is not a symptom that lifts in a few months — it is a structure built early and reinforced for decades, and treatment of it is measured in years rather than sessions. If what you want is a specific, time-limited intervention, a structured therapy may suit you better, and I will say so at the consultation rather than after a year.

Your therapist

About Dr. John J. Hartman

Dr. John J. Hartman, licensed psychologist offering online therapy for self-esteem in Washington, DC

I have practiced psychotherapy and psychoanalysis for over fifty years, and have spent much of that time teaching it — at UCLA, Michigan, and the University of South Florida, where I am currently Adjunct Professor of Psychiatry. As a Training and Supervising Psychoanalyst at the Florida Psychoanalytic Center, I am one of the analysts responsible for training other analysts.

A.B. Harvard College, magna cum laude with highest honors, Social Relations
Ph.D. University of Michigan, Clinical Psychology
Certificate Michigan Psychoanalytic Institute
FABP Board-certified psychoanalyst, American Board of Psychoanalysis
Training & Supervising Analyst Florida Psychoanalytic Center
Licensed Washington, DC (PSY200001229) · Florida · Michigan
PsyPact Telehealth authorized in participating PSYPACT jurisdictions, including Maryland and Virginia

Full credentials and appointments · scholarship and publications

Fees

What treatment costs

Individual sessions are $325 for 50 minutes; couples sessions are $475 for 90 minutes. The first 15-minute consultation is free and carries no obligation, and a sliding scale is available — ask whether you may be eligible.

Payment by cash, check, Venmo, Zelle, or wire. I do not bill insurance, but if your plan covers out-of-network mental health care you may be able to submit my bills to your insurer for reimbursement. Office hours are Monday to Friday, 10:00 am to 5:00 pm, by arrangement. Full fees and insurance details.

Common questions

Questions about therapy for self-esteem

Can therapy actually change self-esteem?

Yes, though not by persuasion. What changes is the source of the judgement rather than the argument against it — once the standard belongs to a person and a period rather than to reality, it loses its authority. That change holds, because nothing must be maintained by effort.

How is this different from confidence coaching?

Coaching works on presentation and behaviour, and can be useful. It does not address why the verdict was reached, so the underlying self-assessment usually survives intact underneath better performance. Analytic work is aimed at the assessment itself, which is slower and more thorough.

Is this connected to depression and anxiety?

Very often. A harsh inner critic produces both — depression when the verdict is accepted, anxiety when exposure of the supposed fraud feels imminent. Many people arrive asking about one and find that all three are running on the same machinery.

Can I see you if I do not live in Washington, DC?

Yes. All sessions are online by secure video. I am licensed in Washington, DC, Florida and Michigan, and through PsyPact I can treat residents of participating PSYPACT jurisdictions, including Maryland and Virginia.

Examine the verdict.

The first 15-minute consultation is free and carries no obligation. Online sessions only, for residents of Washington, DC, Florida and Michigan, and — through PsyPact — participating PSYPACT jurisdictions including Maryland and Virginia.

Call (813) 787-2048 Prefer to write first? Email Dr. Hartman

Online Therapy for Self-Esteem in Washington, DC